I always say my clients are heroes. Not only because they faced and overcame the most difficult situations one can only imagine but also for choosing themselves in the process. For many of them it didn’t come naturally and that is what’s so special about it. Going through mental health challenges, managing life, takings care of family, kids, responsibilities, is much harder that many healthy people realize. It takes strength and courage to finally say “enough is enough”, prioritize yourself, and start working on healing. At the end of the day we are responsible for our own well-being, regardless of what our circumstances are.
Prioritizing yourself can be healing of itself because we learn to finally set boundaries, choose environment that is best for us, rest when needed, and even start therapy.
How can you learn to love and prioritize yourself if being “selfish” is new to you? Here are simple (not always easy) ideas that can help.
1. Start setting “small” boundaries
For many of us it can be hard to start setting boundaries if we have never done so. I recommend starting slow. Maybe say “no” to at least one event you don’t want to go to, choose the person you trust the most to share your boundaries with, give yourself a break from social media (boundary with yourself). Try not to expect perfection and be kind to yourself when you “fail” at keeping you boundaries. It is a skill and it does take practice.
2. Dedicate at least one day to self-care while learning to prioritize yourself
Or find small pockets of time each day to give yourself what you need. I know that some of us are so busy that finding a day for self-care sounds like an impossible task to do. Then again, start small. Dedicate 5 minutes to practice mindfulness, 20 minutes to move your body, make yourself your favorite drink, eat nourishing meals. Healing takes time and ultimately starts with us finding time for ourselves.
3. Create healthy routines for yourself
I always say children thrive on routines, but so do adults. When our life is predictable, it is not boring, it is peaceful. Creating routines that work for us can be challenging but we don’t need to make them complicated. The key word is healthy. Think about what would make your mornings/evenings better and how you can elevate your everyday life.
4. Choose people who you feel peaceful with
Remember, life is too short to waste it on relationships that make you feel bad. I want you to remember that you have only one you. If your family or friends make you feel less than, if someone constantly creates drama, or maybe complains so much to the point it becomes distressing, you have a power to limit your interaction with them or even end the relationship. There are obviously situations where we cannot choose who we surround ourselves with, but more often than not, we can. Use this message as a sign to reevaluate your relationships.
Cultivate self-love by taking care of yourself. Even if you don’t feel like it is necessary, still choose to be mindful of your needs and prioritize yourself. That will go a long way.
~ Tren
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