One of the hardest things that I had to face as an adult is forgiveness. When I think about how hard it is, I ask myself why it is worth it? The things that we face in life at the hands of others can be painful; however, to gain healing requires us to forgive. As I am writing this post, I am reminded of how long it took and will take me to forgive people for failed investments in relationships, betrayal, dishonesty, just to name a few. For me, it was a battlefield between keeping this fiery anger or gaining healing. Yes, it is easy to say go for the healing, but there was something about holding on to the anger that I felt was 
necessary. Anger taught me a lot about myself. It showed me how invested I am in relationships, that I have resilience as long as the Amazon river, and that I genuinely care about people. When I thought about those great qualities, I could not afford for them to go to waste. There was no way I could allow the ill reflections of others to tear down the genuineness of my being.
Deciding to forgive forced me to love on myself more. In a blink of an eye, it became easy to leave that up to others. In my case, the pain showed me what was really good, haha. Of course, I wanted revenge and could not stand to see them go on like nothing happened. But I had to be reminded that you get what you put out and that one thing is for certain, the tables will turn. I decided to forgive because it was the catalyst to propel me into healing. There was no other way, trust me I thought about it! It sucked, it sucked so bad because it made me feel like I had to accept and just deal with it. If you know me, you know that there was no way I could do that – but it was necessary for my healing. If I did not make the moves I needed, I would be trapped mentally asking “what is wrong with me, why did they do this or that, what could I have said or done differently?”
Today, I can look back on some things and just smile. Ultimately, I am thankful for the experiences. It shed light on some dark places where the wrong people were hiding in my life. I have grown and gained more layers of tough skin. In some cases, I was filling up pillowcases of tears and in others, I added more miles on my runs. There is no way to perfect this area because disappointment is inevitable. I will say that knowing this moving forward, I take charge of my time and what I bring to the table in any relationship – whether it is a friendship or romantic. There will be times when we slip and fall, just do not stand down; yet revisit how you slipped in the first place. Trust me, it will make a difference in the choices you make concerning this area.
Enough about my experiences, what about yours? What is your story behind forgiveness in order to receive healing? Do you still struggle with making the decision to forgive? Let’s talk about it, feel free to let me know in the comments.
Whatever you do, remember to…Leave Inspired
The author:
My name is Tysheira and I am the creator of Leave Inspired. I became passionate about blogging after realizing that as an introvert, I had a lot to talk about. I wanted to create my own platform to discuss the things that no one likes to talk about. I am pursuing my MSW specializing in Mental Health. My goal is to become a Licensed Counselor Social Worker (LCSW) to help treat those that suffer from Mood and Anxiety Disorders. I am passionate about Mental Health and working on various ways to raise awareness and normalize it in the African American community. I enjoy engaging with people, so do not be shy to send me a message. I can be reached at IG.
Ty’sheria is such an inspiration writer and I loved working with her. I have difficulty forgiving because i have difficulty remembering what the person did wrong so I occasionally end up full circle. They learned they can do it again I learn that I have to set boundaries or it will happen again
She sure is, I enjoy reading her work! Forgiveness ( for ourself and others) is hard Bc we have high expectations of others (and ourselves). But them we as humans, have a hard time living in the present. It definitely take time. But I think setting boundaries is a step in the right direction.
This is such an important topic, thanks for sharing. For me, I didn’t realise I had forgiven, until one day it occurred to me I’d already let go a long time ago and it was that realisation that set me free.
Good luck! Have a great day.
If only we could all be quicker to forgive. It would make such a difference. I’ve had to forgive a lot of people in my life, but it is the most freeing thing you can do for yourself.
I definitely agree with you!
I’ve learned to forgive quickly for my own sanity. Carrying around all those negative, toxic emotions doesn’t make anything better!
So true!
I wrote about forgiveness back on my blog as well because it was such a big element in my life last year. Forgiving can be hard, but I try to remind myself that the forgiveness is for me and not for them. It is so that I can move forward and stop dwelling on something that happened and can’t be changed. Thank you for sharing!
This is so true. Learning to let go and keep from harboring over things we can’t control.
Reblogged this on Davina Lyons Enterprises and commented:
While reading this post, I kept thinking the author must be my long lost twin. We have the same thoughts and opinions when it comes to forgiveness. I had to share this with my readers!
Thank you so much!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on forgiveness!
My husband always says: “The most important THREE three word sentences are:
I AM SORRY! I FORGIVE YOU! and I LOVE YOU!
I personally had a very hard time forgiving people especially when I knew I was RIGHT!
But once I realized that I had broken almost every one of the Ten Commandments and with that offended God, I knew that it wasn’t just me forgiving others but that only the Truth would set me free. I asked God the Father for forgiveness for committing sins against Him, repented, and asked His Son Jesus Christ into my heart. Upon confession I was baptized with the Holy Spirit and have been set free from bondage to sin and have eternal life! Knowing that I have been forgiven makes it soooo much easier now for me to forgive others!
Yes to all of this!! Because of His mercy, we should have mercy on others and our selves.
Forgiveness is what all look for but when it is time to forgive others they won’t… Great share mate..
So true! That’s why when we forgive, we truly forgive. Bc sometimes, we will not get the same attitude from others.
That’s right.. not from everyone…
Forgiveness is absolutely necessary in the healing process! Some work might need to be done first in order for release and then spiritual connection (from my experience). But unresolved resentments absolutely contribute to mental health concerns, chronic illness, and more. Thanks for the post!
Absolutely. Unresolved resentments puts a-lot of unnecessary weight on an individual.