As a therapist with a focus on trauma, I try to pay special attention to what my clients think about the process of healing. Very often your conscious or subconscious beliefs about something may hinder the progress and keep you stuck. That’s why I decided to write this post about 5 things your trauma therapist wants you to know.
Let me reassure you: as long as you keep working on addressing your trauma symptoms in a healthy way, you are healing. Your healing may not look like one for other people, or sometimes you yourself will even question your progress. But it doesn’t mean it’s not there. I would recommend journaling or at least writing quick notes after your therapy sessions, so you could track changes that are happening within.
Healing from trauma is not linear
People sometimes think that healing should be linear. It may feel counterintuitive when you wake up feeling like you are a different person one day, and then feel completely devastated the day after. Does it mean you are not moving forward? No, it simply means you are a human. How you feel about your situation today depends on many factors including your sleep the night before, weather, diet, etc. So try not to focus on certain days but on the overall trend.
Therapist’s tip: healing is a process with its ups and downs. One thing you will have to learn along the way is patience. Be patient with yourself and avoid comparisons. Your journey may not look like someone else’s and it’s ok.
Healing from trauma may take a long time
If you are in the process of healing from trauma you can get trapped in numbers sometimes. “It’s been 6 months since the event has occurred. Should I not feel better by now?” – you ask. Not necessarily. Again, avoid comparisons and expectations. Depending on the experience, your personal resilience, and the time you dedicate to therapy, healing takes time.
Therapist’s tip: focus on the process, not how much time has passed. Look for “milestones” in your therapy. Pay attention to even “small wins”.
People might not always understand the way you feel
Other people sometimes judge our journey. It’s not always because they are mean-spirited, but often because they want to see us completely recovered and happy as soon as possible. Oftentimes they simply don’t understand what we are going through. It’s important for you to remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Nor do you need someone else’s approval.
I know it can be very isolating when you want to share your struggles with your loved one, and they think you should be “over it”. That’s why therapy comes into play. In therapy, a mental health professional will patiently guide you without trying to force any results. There is no timeframe or a specific result within that timeframe your therapist should strive to achieve. Therapy is a natural process of unfolding your inner self. It can transform your life in many unpredictable ways.
Therapist’s tip: if people don’t support you, refrain from sharing your journey with them. Learn to acknowledge your progress and try to find someone who will actually listen and understand you. Or at least provide you with the support you need.
Healing from trauma may not be complete
After experiencing trauma people often have flashbacks, “bad days”, and certain situations will trigger them. Our body has its own memory and it may react to triggers for a very long time (if not forever) after the event took place. That may make you think that your healing is never complete. It may never be. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t still live a happy fulfilling life.
Therapist’s tip: realize and accept the fact that trauma has changed you. You are not the same person that you used to be. And there’s nothing that is telling you that you should be. Taking time to grieve over that person is a part of recovery, as well as finding the “new you” who deserves to find peace and be happy.
Healing is possible
Last but certainly not least, please remember that healing from trauma is possible. I have witnessed many inspiring stories when people manage to find strength within to now only overcome symptoms of trauma, but build their lives up from scratch. Sometimes it feels like a never-ending journey, but with the right mindset, realistic expectations, and therapy, results can be astonishing.
Therapist’s tip: remember that healing is possible. Create little notes for yourself reminding you that you are constantly learning, growing, and evolving. Put them where you can regularly see them, so you can remember that you are still healing, you are progressing.
Did you learn something from this post? Share below. As always, spread the word by sharing this message with anyone who needs it at this time.
~ Tren
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