Learning to deal with a separation and reunification has been consistent over this past year. Because I am away from my normal support system of family and friends, it is definitely a different feel. Undoubtedly, the girls’ and I have managed to accept the “what is” knowing that this is temporary (they are so strong!). But that does not mean that we weren’t filled with many emotions as we were given orders in hand earlier this year. We made the choice to stay back in Florida, while Chief departed. There had been several times when I questioned my journey. Read my previous blog, From Prison to Purpose as I discussed how I zone in on my purpose. But we both knew that we had a purpose that needed to be done on both ends (far beyond what we could ever imagine). So we took that leap of faith. And let me tell you, this has not been an easy journey at ALL (in all aspects)!
Every few months, Chief is given the opportunity to fly home. This has been our life for almost a year. There have been many challenges for the girls’ and myself with reunification over the past several months. Our “normal” changes for a week to two at a time when Chief comes home. Without a doubt, we look forward to seeing Chief as often as we can. As you may know, there is a great deal of planning, management of time and money, as well as difficult and disappointing conversations, had between Chief and I. This journey is different, far beyond deployment. Which has both, positive and negative benefits. The positives do outweigh the negatives (FaceTime is a life saver, lol).
As I have stated in Resilience in Military Spouses, military life is a constant change and forces resiliency, especially in uncomfortable instances. It’s a constant fluctuation of emotions, situations and relationships. I also mentioned in that blog how Chief is stationed in another state. He does most of the traveling back and forth to visit us. Although, we are thankful for those times. But just him being gone for several months forced me to adjust to my new normal. I have learned skills to keep normalcy for the girls’. Even if that means sacrificing my dreams (for now). So sometimes, reunification can be difficult for me. Because I am adjusting to him being home for a few weeks and taking over all of my daily responsibilities. Don’t get me wrong, his presence is extremely helpful, and we try to optimize his time here. Many would enjoy that, but I am a person who has learned to overcome the many obstacles, and “my” normalcy is extremely important for sanity. Read more about my resiliency and adversity here, The Why and How…
I work hard at focusing on me when Chief is home. Basically, when he lands, I have a list of the twins sports/activity schedule (it changes often), and a “to do list.” At times, I have found myself apologizing because he comes home and it’s nonstop for him (literally). But then, I think it gives him the opportunity to live the day in the life of a mommy/therapist. What I do, is not for the faint. Chief is always so eager to jump back into the family routine, and never takes what I do for granted. He thanks me every day for managing both roles. And those words and actions mean a lot to me, although this is the life I “somewhat” knew was possible with being a military family.
Chief and I have a lot of exciting things planned within the next few months. We can’t wait to share our plans with you all!
God doesn’t just hand us trust in a basket when we ask for it, rather He hands us situations, circumstances and opportunities where we have to practice trusting in Him. ~B.A.
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