Learning to deal with a separation and reunification has been consistent over this past year. Because I am away from my normal support system of family and friends, it is definitely a different feel. Undoubtedly, the girls’ and I have managed to accept the “what is” knowing that this is temporary (they are so strong!). But that does not mean that we weren’t filled with many emotions as we were given orders in hand earlier this year. We made the choice to stay back in Florida, while Chief departed. There had been several times when I questioned my journey. Read my previous blog, From Prison to Purpose as I discussed how I zone in on my purpose. But we both knew that we had a purpose that needed to be done on both ends (far beyond what we could ever imagine). So we took that leap of faith. And let me tell you, this has not been an easy journey at ALL (in all aspects)!
Every few months, Chief is given the opportunity to fly home. This has been our life for almost a year. There have been many challenges for the girls’ and myself with reunification over the past several months. Our “normal” changes for a week to two at a time when Chief comes home. Without a doubt, we look forward to seeing Chief as often as we can. As you may know, there is a great deal of planning, management of time and money, as well as difficult and disappointing conversations, had between Chief and I. This journey is different, far beyond deployment. Which has both, positive and negative benefits. The positives do outweigh the negatives (FaceTime is a life saver, lol).
Photo by Lum3n.com on Pexels.com
As I have stated in Resilience in Military Spouses, military life is a constant change and forces resiliency, especially in uncomfortable instances. It’s a constant fluctuation of emotions, situations and relationships. I also mentioned in that blog how Chief is stationed in another state. He does most of the traveling back and forth to visit us. Although, we are thankful for those times. But just him being gone for several months forced me to adjust to my new normal. I have learned skills to keep normalcy for the girls’. Even if that means sacrificing my dreams (for now). So sometimes, reunification can be difficult for me. Because I am adjusting to him being home for a few weeks and taking over all of my daily responsibilities. Don’t get me wrong, his presence is extremely helpful, and we try to optimize his time here. Many would enjoy that, but I am a person who has learned to overcome the many obstacles, and “my” normalcy is extremely important for sanity.
I work hard at focusing on me when Chief is home. Basically, when he lands, I have a list of the twins sports/activity schedule (it changes often), and a “to do list.” At times, I have found myself apologizing because he comes home and it’s nonstop for him (literally). But then, I think it gives him the opportunity to live the day in the life of a mommy/therapist. What I do, is not for the faint. Chief is always so eager to jump back into the family routine, and never takes what I do for granted. He thanks me every day for managing both roles. And those words and actions mean a lot to me, although this is the life I “somewhat” knew was possible with being a military family.
Chief and I have a lot of exciting things planned within the next few months. We can’t wait to share our plans with you all!
God doesn’t just hand us trust in a basket when we ask for it, rather He hands us situations, circumstances and opportunities where we have to practice trusting in Him. ~B.A.
Have you subscribed to my blogs? If you haven’t followed me on social media yet, what are you waiting for? Connect with me on FB, Pinterest, and IG.
Thank you for sharing and for both of your service.
This is where we were (staying in FL as he went ahead) and are (reunified) right now. It’s been pleasantly interesting sharing the workload and reintegrating our family. It hasn’t been easy but it hasn’t been hard either. I can’t wait to see where this new journey takes us!
I defintely understand from both, personal and research experiences. I am actually writing my dissertation on the reintegration of military families. I know you are so happy to have him home. Enjoy this time!
We have had to do a few longer term separations due to my husband’s job (civilian) and will probably have a few more in the years to come. I so admire your attitude and will keep reminding myself of it!
It’s always such a struggle when our love ones have to go away. Love on him while he’s home. Thanks for visiting.
Your outlook is very admirable! Keep it up for you & your girls, you are doing amazing!! Your husband is lucky to have someone like you!
-Madi xo
http://www.everydaywithmadirae.com
Thank you for such kind words!
Thank you for sharing your story! My dad was in the military and we experienced constant change as well. This was a great read!
Thanks for visiting.
Thanks for sharing your story! very inspiring.
Girl, this is crazy my boyfriend was just talking about joining the military. I had my doubts because I know that my daughter and myself would be alone from time to time. But reading this post has inspired me, to go along if that’s what he wants to do. Stay strong for yourself and babies. I wish you nothing but the best.
Good for you in supporting him while he follows his heart. I am sure your support makes it easier on him. Military life is a challenge, but i do think with time I have learned and accepted this lifestyle. There are so many positives about military life, though. Thanks for visiting.
All your posts are so inspiring!! In a beautiful way you have hold your whole family together. Thank you for sharing!!
Thanks for the sweet words!
Being a military’s spouse is hard and this definitely gave me insight.
Thank you for sharing your story! You’ve proven time and time again through your post to be a very strong individual even during the hard times. Gaining a normalcy in always difficult and its seems that you are adjusting to it, over time. <3
Thanks. I think new things (military stuff) continues to come down my path often. I just try to roll with it the best way I know how. (even if that’s crying for a few minutes, lol).
Looks like you have everything under control and organized, despite the challenges. It’s not easy and having a good family support (relatives, parents) is important (I hope you have some, and not like me 🙂
Women are silent heroes, for sure!
I think I have everything under control, lol (for now). I wish my parents were here, but they passed years ago. Oh gosh yeah, we are definitely silent heroes.
Appreciate you sharing your story! I can only imagine what that is like. It really is inspiring.
Thank you!
I so admire military wives (and husbands) who hold down the fort when their spouses are deployed. I love how you describe the whirlwind of your husband being home—there’s so much to pack into such a short amount of time!
You said it, it’s like a whirlwind around here when he’s home. I know he leaves feeling exhausted at times.
So powerful! Glad you and your family are able to make it work. Stay strong and love eachother
Thank you!
Thanks for sharing and your service
This is somewhat relatable for me even though i’m not a military wife. I was in a LDR for 4 years and once we finally reconnected and lived closer, that adjustment period was tough! being around each other all the time was a learning experience
-shay
I agree. Regardless of ones career, reunification is definitely a challenge. Thanks for visiting.
Such amazing sacrifice by even members of a military family. I think sometimes we forget about the family’s sacrifice. Kids not seeing a parent or someone not seeing their significant other. Thank you!
So many sacrifices from all. Thanks for visiting!
I’m an Army wife myself. The things we go through for the military are definitely hard on a family. I admire anyone willing to make it work though. Great job!
Thanks for sharing. And thank you all for your service.
Thanks for sharing! Seems like both you and your husband are strong, and you’re raising strong children.
Thanks for the kind words!
Thank you for sharing your story. I have never experienced this and I’m glad see inside your life. Thank you again.
Thanks for visiting.
Thank you for the glimpse into how military families have to deal with the ramifications of military life. We so often thank the service men and women for their service, but the spouses and children deserve just as much thanks for being the support system. That is a huge sacrifice and service to our country as well. Thank you for yours!
Awe thanks so much!
Thank you for all your family does for our country! It is eye opening to read about your experiences and how you make it through those difficult times. You are an inspiration!
Thank you!
Families sacrifice so much. Thank you for sharing. Happy holidays to all of you.
Thanks for visiting. And Happy Holidays to you!
Thank you so much for your story and thanks to both of you for your sacrifices.
Reblogged this on Truth Troubles.
I have the utmost respect for military spouses. It’s so hard to hold down the fort when the spouse is deployed, especially in a new place.
Thank you for the sweet words! Happy New Year!